Women with big boobs have it tough sometimes

I hate those ads for cute lacy bras or the ads that show cups free hanging off the ta-tas with nary a string. The result shows how she can now wear those cute tops and flowy backless maxi dresses with ease. That’s SO awesome for her. Seriously, if these products work for you great, but if I were to slip my lady bits into those free hanging cups they would look like a couple of over filled water balloons hanging off a wall.

How about those articles that say we should go braless so we don’t get cancer? Um, you don’t want me to go braless dude. For as many articles that say we should, there’s an equal amount saying there is no evidence to corroborate that claim.  With that in mind, I’ll wear my bras, thanks.

I want to clarify that I am learning to love my body. I’m grateful that my legs get me to where I want to go and that my heart pumps without a thought from me. This isn’t a bash my image blog, but I am about being real. I’m going to call a spade a spade and if I don’t have champagne glass orbs of loveliness hanging from my chest I’ll be the first to admit it.

Now let’s talk titties.  HA!

I remember the day I started to develop. I walked up to the kitchen counter and when my chest ever so gently brushed up to the counter I almost died from the pain. They suddenly hurt like never before. A minute later I was a D cup.

Later came breastfeeding. WOW, they don’t snap back from that ordeal! Feeding a human for about 12 months really stretches out the delicate skin. I’m grateful I could breastfeed when so many mothers can’t, but there is a downside. I was a D cup and then shot up to about an F while breastfeeding. After the breastfeeding my girls tried to go back to their original size. To me that felt more like the butterfly turning into a saggy caterpillar. They didn’t look like twin peaks anymore.

I remember a few years after that I saw a cartoon about an old lady who tucks  her boobs into her bikini bottoms because they hang so low. I could relate! To be honest, I don’t wear bikinis and my girls aren’t THAT low, but still I’m in the race! I laughed but I also didn’t enjoy the fact that I could relate. GAH!

I felt like the sexiness and youth was gone. Bras were already hard to shop for before breastfeeding and now they were impossible to find!

I found a lump on my lumps

Fast forward to last year. My boobs started to hurt and I found a lump. After many sleepless nights, panic and worry I faced my fears. I found a doctor who I trusted and who actually listened to me. I got a few mammograms and other tests.  Everything turned out to be okay.  I had fibrocystic breast disease or what my doctor lovingly calls lumpy bumpy breast issues. How nice.

I gave up caffeine like all the blogs recommend. It was like cutting ties with my best friend. It sort of helped but was hardly a cure. I even stopped wearing my bras for awhile in hopes that it would help. I felt naked without them and all my shirts didn’t fit the same.

For other reasons our family decided to massively cut out sugar of all forms. I didn’t make the change for myself, I was supporting my husband, but something unexpected happened.

My boobs stopped hurting!

They stopped randomly aching and the lumps shrunk! Needless to say, I’m sticking with my diet of no sugar. My girls and I can now have caffeine occasionally and more importantly I’m healthy!

That’s the history of my headlamps. It’s not an uncommon story. Many of my well endowed friends have similar stories. Stories about the boobs making it hard to read, boobs that don’t fit into a button up shirt, boobs that don’t cooperate with life!

I’m grateful for my boobs but with all that comes with them, bras should be a solved issue. Why is it still hard to find an apparatus to hold in these amazing mammaries? Why are there SO MANY backless dresses!

Dress available at lulus.com if you don’t need bras… lucky!

I still feel like the bra industry doesn’t understand the gals with grand tetons. Why do sports bra makers think I want a uniboob?  Yes, please smash my girls together so that they look like something from Total Recall.

Have you had a hard time bra shopping?

Usually a bra claims it will look natural, sexy, and be comfortable and it winds up hurting, pinching, and making my back look like blobs.

Before you say I haven’t been fitted, I have, Ms. Thang. I’ve been fitted a few times and I was able to find a bra with the help of a bra guru and lots of cash. I recommend it highly!  If it wasn’t for a good fitting, I’d still be looking,but fair warning, good bras cost a pretty penny. I do believe you get what you pay for but why does a good bra shop have to be as rare as a leprechaun riding a unicorn?

I wanted to share with you the one bra I’ve found that I love. Sadly when I went to see what brand, the tag has worn off from so much wear and washing. My blood pressure spiked with that because it means I can’t share it with you AND I can’t buy it again.  GAH! I had found it in a little boutique in Portland, Oregon. I feel like Tom hanks in Big. Was that boutique even real or was I gifted that bra by a mysterious force?

Love your tatas ladies!

Love and appreciate your tatas today, even if they sag or there is something you don’t love about them. It’s OK. Find that perfect bra and strut your stuff, gorgeous, because we all have flaws and we all have beauty.

P.S. If you find the perfect bra would you PLEASE email me! The one I have isn’t going to last forever!  If you have fibrocystic breast disease and have any questions about what I did I’d be happy to answer questions!  Just email me.